Absolutely. I want my kids to be able to discuss anything with me. I have told them (at an age appropriate time) that this rule has only two exceptions. I will not tell my own personal bedroom tales, and I don't want to hear theirs. But I'm fine with hypotheticals.
I feel fine about Steeleye Span's songs around my kids. These are, for the most part, folk songs. They teach. When they listen to the "happy little f*ing songs" they are also absorbing the message that casual unprotected sex leads to a terrible burden, and that burden falls disproportionately on the female. When they hear the drinking songs, they also absorb the message that drunk people can do stupid things, and they put that together with the fact that I have always said that I personally don't drink because of a strong history of alcoholism in my family which makes drinking playing with fire, and the fact that I sing along with gusto. My son went off to college, found that most of his classmates drank and smoked pot to excess, and he would cheerfully accompany them, have a grand time with them, and drive them all home safely, still sober and unstoned. Co-incidence? Probably not, although he always has been a sensible and mellow kid. I'm really proud that several of his friends changed their own habits when they saw that he didn't miss out on the fun, in spite of missing out on (most of) the chemicals.
The murder songs are a little harder to defend, although it makes me feel a little more comfortable as they move from their small Vermont town (pop. c. 925) where the sense of community and safety is strong, out into the big world and colleges near big cities, that they have absorbed a sense of stranger danger, and an understanding that there are dangerous people with impure motives out there. Their first inclination is to feel that the people around them want to help and look after their welfare, because that's the way it is back home, and they've found that their contemporaries look at them like they are nuts to have thought that beyond the age of 6. Thus far though - knock wood - they've been pretty canny and cautious in their dealings with the wider world.
And, yeah, lest you worry, I know that there are dangerous people in small towns too. We do teach stranger danger. But in a small town, it's also pretty easy to keep a very close eye on where they are and what they're doing. If your kid needs a ride to get to a friend's house, and there isn't a neighborhood they can be turned loose in to hang out with their friends, and outings and get-togethers have to be planned in advance as a result, the parents get a great deal more oversight and control.
no subject
I feel fine about Steeleye Span's songs around my kids. These are, for the most part, folk songs. They teach. When they listen to the "happy little f*ing songs" they are also absorbing the message that casual unprotected sex leads to a terrible burden, and that burden falls disproportionately on the female. When they hear the drinking songs, they also absorb the message that drunk people can do stupid things, and they put that together with the fact that I have always said that I personally don't drink because of a strong history of alcoholism in my family which makes drinking playing with fire, and the fact that I sing along with gusto. My son went off to college, found that most of his classmates drank and smoked pot to excess, and he would cheerfully accompany them, have a grand time with them, and drive them all home safely, still sober and unstoned. Co-incidence? Probably not, although he always has been a sensible and mellow kid. I'm really proud that several of his friends changed their own habits when they saw that he didn't miss out on the fun, in spite of missing out on (most of) the chemicals.
The murder songs are a little harder to defend, although it makes me feel a little more comfortable as they move from their small Vermont town (pop. c. 925) where the sense of community and safety is strong, out into the big world and colleges near big cities, that they have absorbed a sense of stranger danger, and an understanding that there are dangerous people with impure motives out there. Their first inclination is to feel that the people around them want to help and look after their welfare, because that's the way it is back home, and they've found that their contemporaries look at them like they are nuts to have thought that beyond the age of 6. Thus far though - knock wood - they've been pretty canny and cautious in their dealings with the wider world.
And, yeah, lest you worry, I know that there are dangerous people in small towns too. We do teach stranger danger. But in a small town, it's also pretty easy to keep a very close eye on where they are and what they're doing. If your kid needs a ride to get to a friend's house, and there isn't a neighborhood they can be turned loose in to hang out with their friends, and outings and get-togethers have to be planned in advance as a result, the parents get a great deal more oversight and control.